The Charlie Sheen Rundown: Custody, Apology, Legal Demands...

In the latest edition of As Charlie Sheen's Hilariously Troubled World Turns...
Brooke Mueller has responded to the video that depicts her young twins hanging around Sheen's "goddesses" and taken action to wrestle physical custody of them from her ex-husband. One problem, according to TMZ?
She went to the wrong police station to do so.

Sheen's lawyer, Marty Singer, has fired off a letter to Warner Bros. and CBS that demands Sheen gets paid for the full season of Two and a Half Men, lest these companies face legal action. It reads:

"Warner Bros. made it clear they wanted Charlie back for two more years, even with the prospect that he could go to jail. They made a deal with him while the charges were pending. But now that Charlie made some disparaging comments about the show runner who had refused to work... they made a decision not to proceed with the show this year. It's outrageous."

On its own, that statement actually makes a solid argument.

Following the uproar over how Sheen referred to creator Chuck Lorre as "Chaim," the actor has asked for an apology from the Anti-Defamation League for saying the actor exhibited "borderline anti-Semitism" via that comment.

Singer has also sent that organization a letter that demands a retraction because his clien's only intention was to "address the man rather than his television persona."

In what he claims will be his final new interview, Sheen called in to the Howard Stern radio show today. Among the tidbits shared:

• He's never made a sex tape.
• He isn't worried about returning to Two and a Half Men: "I don't believe in panicking - panicking is for amateurs and morons."
• He thinks CBS President Les Moonves ought to fire Lorre: "Chuck wants out, because he's burned out. He's got three shows, and he has forgotten that ours was the one who launched the other two... And he's trying to make me the fall guy, and he's not going to do it because his tactics are silly and juvenile, and the work of an amateur. I think the real solution is that Les should just fire him and put me back on, and everybody wins."

Christina Aguilera Arrested !!!!

In what can be deemed as an incident any celebrity gossip follower could have easily seen coming, Christina Aguilera was arrested early this morning for public intoxication.
According to TMZ, the singer was booked around 3 a.m. at the West Hollywood police station for the misdemeanor offense, while boyfriend Matt Rutler was also processed on charges of drunk driving. His bail was set at $30,000.

It's been a troubling few months for Aguilera, as friends have been concerned over her downward spiral since her divorce from Jordan Bratman.

Aside from her memorably embarrassing national anthem mishap at the Super Bowl, Christina has most recently been accused of having sex with Rutler during a family gathering.

Cops reportedly pulled Rutler over this morning after they noticed him driving erratically. Sources say Aguilera acted "extremely intoxicated" and was "unable to take care of herself."

UPDATE: Says Sgt. Michael Thomas of West Hollywood Sheriff's Department: "Aguilera was taken into custody "for her own safety. It's kind of a welfare 'arrest.' Not a criminal arrest. She was intoxicated - too much to be in public. No one was available to take care of her, because the person she was with was arrested for drunk driving. When it's determined she's sober, she'll be released."

Glimmer of Hope: Jewelry Store Surveillance Tape Backs Up Lindsay Lohan Story

Who knows if it will persuade the D.A., but a surveillance video at least partially backs up Lindsay Lohan's account of her infamous, alleged jewel thievery.
The accused felon was in no hurry to bolt Kamofie & Company the day she allegedly ganked the thing, blabbing with the owner for a bit before peacing out.
According to sources who have watched the tape, Lohan wore the $2,500 necklace she's accused of stealing almost the entire time she was in the store.

What goes on in the mind of Lindsay Lohan? [Photo: Pacific Coast News]

Video clearly shows Lindsay trying on the necklace, checking herself out in the mirror, and appearing to ask her friend and the owner for their opinion.
There is no audio on the tape. Reports say Lindsay took off her own necklace to try on the store's necklace, which she never took off in 45 minutes.
According to sources, before walking out of the store, Lindsay put her own necklace back on, but not in a way that obstructed the store's necklace.
Even better for the train wreck, with the store's necklace still in plain view, Lindsay is seen talking to the owner for a couple of minutes before leaving.
Doesn't sound like the actions of someone that tried to steal a necklace, right? Or is she just that calculating to make it look like a misunderstanding?
In rejecting a plea bargain last week, Lindsay indicated confidence that she will be vindicated by the legal system. Perhaps this is a big reason why.
Of course, a probation violation could land her in jail regardless. This is what happens when you're a total mess and constantly run afoul of the law.

Taraji P. Henson: Nude for PETA

This is the naked truth for Taraji P. Henson: she hates fur.
The Academy Award nominee is the latest celebrity to sign on for PETA's attention-grabbing, misguided campaign against animal cruelty. She says she watched the documentary I Am an Animal, in which viewers get an up close look at fur farms, and had an epiphany:
"I saw this documentary, and I was riveted. I cried. Could you imagine somebody ripping your hair out, while you're still awake, fully conscious? It's ridiculous, for the sake of fashion."

Justin Bieber recently spoke out on behalf of PETA, as well. Sadly, though, he kept his clothes on.

Henson will unveil this poster PETA's New York Fashion Week Bash on February 10. It will also appear as a billboard in Los Angeles.

Shocker: Jennifer Aniston Adoption Rumor Denied

So that story about Jennifer Aniston is not adopting a baby was bogus. We would take credit for refuting the rumor first, but no one actually believed it.
We did call it, however ... not that it took much brainpower. In fact, you have to wonder why Jen's rep even bothered firing off the denial in this case.
The rumor mill was working overtime yesterday with LOL-tastic claims that the actress was adopting, but there was truth to the reports, obvi.

WHAT A TEASE: Jennifer Aniston gossip always is.

Yesterday, celebrity gossip outlets were abuzz over the obviously bogus report that Aniston had visited an orphanage in Tijuana and decided to adopt a baby.
Details about a $250,000 "gender-neutral" nursery in the star's home began to come out as well, including the name of a nanny Jennifer reportedly hired.
Courteney Cox's former nanny, Marva Soogrim, was reported to be Aniston's now. A rep for the actress, however, was quick to kill the "fabricated" story.
You hear about Jen and Brad though? So hitting it behind Ange's back!!!

Charlie Sheen: Hospitalized After All-Night Party!

In knock-us-over-with-a-feather news, Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital after a crazy party at his home in the wee hours of the morning.
Sources say the actor was taken out of his home on a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance around 7 a.m. with a towel partially over his face.
Charlie was transported to Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A. after a 911 call was placed at 6:35 a.m. Two women young exited the house as he did.

Pray that Charlie Sheen gets help. Fast.

Sources say Charlie had severe abdominal pains. Stan Rosenfield, his publicist, says that Sheen was in the emergency room as of this morning - sleeping.
Charlie's father, Martin Sheen, and his mom, Janet Templeton, are with him.
Neighbors say Charlie threw some sort of party last night. Big surprise there. Women inside Sheen's house were singing Red Hot Chili Peppers songs all night.
The party went until the wee hours. It's a safe bet that booze and boobs played key roles in a night like many others in the life of the Two and a Half Men star.
Get well, Charlie. Then get a grip, before it's too late. Seriously man.

Kacey Jordan: Charlie Sheen Plaything, Porn Star

One of the women partying at the all-night soiree that ended with Charlie Sheen hospitalized was Kacey Jordan, according to new reports.
Kacey is, if you can possibly fathom this, a porn star.
Jordan, 22, was supposedly contacted by a third party on behalf of the star, who invited her over to his home Tuesday night to "party."

AIR(HEAD) JORDAN: Sorry. Maybe Charlie likes Kacey for her brains.

When Jordan arrived at Charlie Sheen's place, the Two and a Half Men star told her he was a huge fan and had been "searching for her for a year."
Fast forward a few days and the show almost became One and a Half Men as Charlie began having severe abdominal pain and peeps called 911.
Four other women were at Sheen's home (no word if Bree Olson was among them) when Jordan showed up. Sheen's shirt was stained with wine.
This was Tuesday. Jordan left Sheen's home Wednesday afternoon, but Charlie was "still partying" as she walked out the door. Guy goes ALL out.